Hurt

Walaupun saya pernah cakap keluarga adalah segalanya,but we have to be realistic.Okay,since my sister has broke the hukum alam,now my mother only hope on us.Yes,us.The twins.Yes,Ido really like to further my study.I do want to feel how is it the life in university.I want all that.But,on the other side I have to think about my family.Means that I have to be realistic.There's no bulan jatuh ke riba.The truth is we have to find the moon.We don't have any relatives who has a lot of money.Well technically,I have.But as always my mother said,"kita tak berduit,apa saja kita buat semua nampak jahat."It could be a long story if I have to tell why my mother said that.Yes,pakcik makcik saya yang jauh ni hanya pandai berkata-kata.Well,tak semua orang boleh faham masalah kita.I just,have to clear the fact.The fact that they never will help us.
I'm kind like dissapointed with my sister.I know I don't want to be berat sebelah,but I guess what my mom said is right.She told my mom that she will help me on further my studie.But,the truth is she can't.She's married plus she will get a baby soon.She's jobless.I don't say that she didn't want to help us,but she can't.I know she will get mas if I tell her about I want to find a job with my SPM.But,what can I do?Nasib tak menyebelahi kita.Duit mana nak dipakai bila kita DUA orang masuk universiti?Now I really understand what people said,happy on the outside,but it pain in the inside.Yes,I can smile,act like usual.But I have to forget my dreams.Because we have to be realistic.I have no one who can listen my talk.No one.It really hurt actually.